Alrighty, so they head into the house, Anita is expecting the women to lock the door behind them so they can't escape or some shit. Only she doesn't, Anita makes note of shoving Phil's hands off her scars, he wrapped himself around my waist and led me down a long narrow hall.
Now I have the image of Phil clinging to her like an overgrown possum, somehow I don't think that's the image LKH was aiming at...
We then get the usual description of the house, before Anita spots her new victim to be harshly judged and snarked at. The guy has a drink in his hand and he looked like he had come from Leather 'R' us. Leather bands criss-crossed his chest and arms, likr Hollywood's idea of an oversexed gladiator.
Anita then goes on to think that she owes Phil an apology since he's dressed pretty conservatively, the half naked female that let them into her home, randomly comes up behind Phil and scratches him... As one does to their guests I guess...
Phil shivers and tightens his grip slightly on Anita, which allows her to bitch that she hopes he doesn't count being randomly scratched as a good thing. Considering how this series ends up, she really doesn't have a leg to stand on and really does prove that she's a complete hypocrite.
Suddenly a tall dark women appears on the couch, she's dressed in the usual theme of very little cloth covering a lot of important skin, again allowing Anita to bitch that she's probably naked under her dress, which... I guess is all we need to assume that she's an evil person or something, I dunno.
She only has a few scars and they are still mostly pink which means she's new to this lifestyle, random female then starts stalking around Anita and Phil. She brushes Anita's back lightly, causing her to step away from Phil and face the stranger (from now on called Laura until her name pops up) Laura asks about the scars on her back, claiming that they weren't caused by a vampire.
Her voice was low for a women, an alto tenor maybe.
The interesting and highly important facts we learn in this book!
Anita explains that it was caused by being stabbed with a stake by a vampires servant, she leaves out the fact that it was in fact her stake and she was there to kill the vampire...
Clearly Anita isn't nearly as badass as she's trying to make herself out to be... Stabbed by her own stake, dear god. I get having your character make mistakes, but wanking on about this without explaining the how just makes her look kinda weak.
Ok, so Laura is actually Rochelle. They get the introductions out of the way and the female owner of the house comes up behind Anita and claws her too, what the fuck is with these people??
Her nails left little red lines on my arm. I resisted the urge to rub them. I was a tough-as-nails vampire slayer; scratches didn't bother me.
Anyways, Madge (our friendly cat impersonator) is apparently looking at Anita like she was what flavor I was and how long I'd last.
This naturally makes Anita pretty comfortable, in a sudden change of subject we learn that the guy wearing leather and happily drinking is Harvey is Madge's husband. Also Phil has been talking to them about her.
Harvey comes up behind Anita, who moves so that her back is against the couch, she thinks that they are circling her like sharks before catching the look on Phil's face and remembering that she's suppose to be enjoying herself, not treating them like they all had communicable diseases.
So we learn that Anita doesn't play with girls, now see normally this wouldn't bother me. Everyone likes what they like, what I do take issue with is her making it out that they are freaks for even suggesting this fact in the first place.
She then figures that Harvey is the lesser of all evils in front of her before internally tearing his looks apart, kinda. Since she only really mentions his stubby fingers and the fact that he's wearing a leather kilt.
She flashes him a professional smile, figuring that it was better then frowning at him. Harvey appears to be happy getting any sort of response from a female, as his eyes widen and steps towards her, reaching out to touch her left arm. Anita does what anyone trying to fit in would do, smile in a forceful manner and hold her breath.
Seriously, why did the vampires want her to be the one investigating this case again?
Harvey traces his fingers lightly over her arm, when she shivers he takes that as an invitation. Moving closer, Anita places her hand on his chest to prevent him from getting to close to her, giving her a chance to bitch about how course and hairy his chest is and that she'd take smooth any day of the week.
...
MOVING ON!
Harvey starts to encircle his arms around her, forcing her to either step back and end up sitting on the couch, or move forward into the embrace. Harvey mentions that he has been dying to meet her, he said 'dying' like it was a dirty word, or an inside joke. The other laughed, all except Phillip.
Phil pulls her away from Harvey, Anita goes with it, even wrapping her arms around his waist. Managing to add that she's never hugged anyone in a fishnet shirt before and that it's an interesting sensation.
Phil warns everyone to remember what he's said, causing Madge to get snarky as she agrees that Anita is all his. Before pointing out that while he might be able to enforce this rule when it's just them that when the big boys get here, you'll share. They'll make you share.
I'm going to assume that LKH doesn't understand the point of these sort of parties, I admit I'm no expert either, but I'm fairly sure that people don't go if there is a chance that once the vamps/doms/singles/etc show up they will be raped.
Phil stares Madge down, claiming that he brought Anita here and that he'll take her home. Madge seems amused by this, asking if he'll actually fight them over her, and that she must be a pretty good lay because having a good bedwarmer is worth pissing off the 'big boys'. I'm not sure why she keeps calling them that, we already know that they will be vamps, this is just comes across as pretty immature or that she's not happy with what will be happening in the future.
Anita can't let such an insult stand though! She shoves her hand into Madge's stomach, smugly thinking that her heels make her balance bad since she almost falls from the force of the mighty Anita push!
Anita then goes on to state that "I am not a piece of anything, nor am I a bedwarmer."
Of course she's not a bedwarmer, her heart is too damn cold!
While I'm all for the strong independent female stance, she's suppose to be a shy vampire victim. Way to ruin your cover there Anita...
Madge states that she has a temper and asks Phil where he found her, which leads to this...
If there is anything that I hate, it is being found amusing when I'm angry. I stepped up close to her, and she smiled down at me. "Did you know," I said, "that when you smile, you get get deep wrinkles on either side of your mouth? You are over forty, aren't you?"
Look at the above picture for my reaction to that line...
Harvey is standing straight faced, as though he's worried that if he so much as smiled Madge would cut a bitch, his eyes are shiny though.
Yeah I don't get it, her 'zing' wasn't exactly a burn that needs ice. It was more low and underhanded, the sort of insult people dip to when they are clearly losing. Then again maybe I've just been around some incredibly cruel people in my life and normal people do insult each other like this.
They hear a door open and shut and a fifty something women steps into the room. Very blond hair framed a plump face. Even money the blond came out of a bottle. Plump little hands glittered with rings, real stones. A long, black negligee swept the floor, complete with an open lace robe. The flat black of the negligee was kind to her figure, but not kind enough. She was overweight and there was no hiding it.
Notice how no one else in the place gets such a visual description? Anita Blake, the most tolerant heroine you'll ever read about!
Mystery women squeals at the sight of Phil and literally throws herself into his arms, barely giving himself enough time to brace for the impact.
Strong Phillip, able to lift overweight nymphomaniacs with both hands.
I'm just going to leave that there...
Harvey introduces the newcomer as Crystal, who is currently happily groping Phil. Phil tries to disentangle himself from her without any success, giving a meaningful look at Anita.
Which is apparently her cue to angst that he'd told her that he had stopped coming to these parties, she wonders if it was because of the kind of people that they'd run into tonight and that it was her fault that he was here, and realizes that she owes him.
Anita pats Crystals cheek lightly, when she blinks at her, she wonders if Crystal is near-sighted. Love, if I was happily pawing someone and a random came up and patted my cheek, I'd blink at them in confusion too.
Anyways, Anita points out that Crystal is pawing at her date. Which surprises Crystal because no one apparently brings dates to these parties. Anita points out that she's new and doesn't know the rules, but if she insists on groping her date, could she at least wait until her back is turned?
Crystal's lower lip trembled. Her eyes began to fill with tears. I had been gentle, kind even, and she was still going to cry? What was she doing here with these people?
Madge takes Crystal away, patting her back and comforting her as Rochelle mentions that Anita "was very cold" as she walks away towards the liquor.
I just... Am I on a different wave length to these people????
With everyone gone, Phil sinks down onto the couch. Clasping his hands between his knees his admits softly to Anita that he doesn't think he can do this, Anita touches his arm and realizes that he's shaking. The impact it has on him being here is starting to dawn on Anita, she states that they can go.
Phil is shocked by this, asking her what she means, she repeats herself. He asks if she'd really want to leave without getting the information she's after.
"Let's just say I like you better as an overconfident flirt. You keep acting like a real person, and you'll have me all confused. We can go if you can't handle it."
We find out that Phil didn't actually have a choice in bringing her tonight, but now that he has freewill he is more then happy to stay until Anita gets the info she needs.
It takes awhile, but after awhile it clicks to Anita that someone is feeding Phil orders and nothing he's down this entire book is of his own choice, she demands to know whose pulling his strings, he begs her to just let it drop. Before Anita can start pulling his fingernails out, they are interrupted by Madge bring two new comers into the room.
The first is a female, the second is a male who turns out to be Edward. Anita once again proves to us why she is the heroine by I froze, for a second. It was so unexpected hat I just froze. If he had pulled out a gun, he could have killed me where I sat with my mouth hanging open, What the hell was he doing her?
Oh I don't know... He wants the master of the city, you're currently working for the master of the city. It would make sense to be following you, or he could just be following the same lead you are and this is just a big ball of happy coincidence, your choice.
Phil asks her whats wrong, she snarks back that what's wrong is that he's most likely following orders from a vampire, besides slightly adding to herself that Death had just walked into the door to play freak. She goes on that Eddy only searches for a vampire that he plans to kill, and that the master assassin might have just met his match with Nicky. She admits that she's always wanted to be around once Edward bit off more then he could chew, but if Ed and Nick go head to head and Nicky suspects that Anita had something to do with it, then it most likely won't end well for her at all.
She considers tossing him under the bus, since he was threatening to torture her for information, but realizes that she can't throw another human to the monsters, not for any reason.
Monica had broken that rule, and I despised her for it. I think I was the closest thing Edward had to a real friend. A person who knows who and what you are and likes you anyway. I did like him, despite or because of what he was.
First off I was under the assumption that these two didn't really know each other outside of their work. How would she know that she's the only friend he has?
Secondly, who the hell cares? I've seen snails with better pacing then this damn book!
Anita watches Edward kissing Madge, thinking that he's a much better role-player then her... Duh...
She goes on to think that Edward knew that she wouldn't dob him in, and that her own virtue had become her punishment or some shit, the chapter ends with Anita wondering if she could use his own lack of honor for her own advantage, just like he used her own honor to his advantage.
Thank fuck that was over, granted this chapter wasn't as bad as some others. But it was longer, I'm still debating which is worse.
No comments:
Post a Comment