So the story starts off with Bella being driven to the airport by her mum, windows down because it's 75 degrees (f?) which would equal out to roughly 23 degrees Celsius to pretty much everyone else.
I was wearing my favorite shirt -- sleeve-less, white eyelet lace; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. My carry-on item was a parka.
Not sure why we need to know exactly what she is wearing here, (besides the fact that she's a Mary Sue and all Mary Sue's need to tell us what they are wearing. It's a international law) or why there is a random dash between shirt and sleeve-less but sure, lets just roll with it.
She goes on to explain that a small middle of no-where, hardly anyone lives there and she's surprised a map shows it exists town called Forks is her destination and ho-boy is she looking forward to it!
You can tell by the way she complains about it's gloomy, omnipresent shade. And how her mum escaped from the place and her husband when Bella was only a few months old.
We also learn that she was forced to come to Forks every summer until the age of 14 where she told her dad where he could shove it, forcing him to drop everything for 2 weeks every year to fly out to see her instead.
It was to Forks that I now exiled myself -- An action that I took with much great horror. I detested Forks.
Overly-dramatic isn't she? I get that she's a teenager in this book and I remember being quite the drama llama when I was a teenager, but considering that throughout the entire series we're hit over the head with how mature and old Bella is, this is really glaring on the re-read.
Bella's mum (mom) goes on to state that she doesn't have to move to Forks, Bella then spazzes out wondering how she could leave her harebrained mum alone even though she now has someone called Phil to look after her now, to ensure things like her bills are paid, food in the fridge, gas is in her car and someone to call when she gets lost... I don't mean to sound offensive here, but is her mum disabled in some way? Because I'm fairly sure an adult women can at least do those extremely simple tasks.
I'll see you soon," she insisted. "You can come home whenever you want -- I'll come right back as soon as you need me."
But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind that promise.
Seriously, what is with all the random dashes in this chapter?! Also drama-llama attacks again!
... I wonder if there is a meme or .gif relating to this.
Stupid question.
So Bella tells her mum not to worry and that she'll be fine, hopes on the plane for four hours to Seattle before catching another plane for an hour to Port Angles before driving for yet another hour to Forks.
... None of this means anything to me, the closest I've ever gotten to Washington is Fallout 3 and while I know the entire game layout is exactly like Washington I feel that it doesn't really capture how it actually looks, or any of the surrounding areas.
Bella seems surprised that her dad doesn't seem worried about her moving in with him as he's already enrolled her at the local high school and is willing to help her buy a car.
Love, he's willing to fly half-way across the country once every year to see you, it's pretty clear that he still considers you his daughter and must love you.. Gods know why though.
But it was sure awkward with Charlie. Neither of us was what anyone would call verbose, and I didn't know what there was to say regardless. I knew he was more then a little confused by my decision -- Like my mother before me, I hadn't made a secret of my distaste for Forks.
If her mum hated Forks so much why did live there for so long? Was it because of Charlie? If so why wasn't he willing to move? Is that why they divorced? And if Renee (Bella's mum) is so useless how did she manage to raise a kid without child-services getting involved?!
It turns out that Charlie (her dad) is a cop, he is picking her up in his cruiser and I... Can police in the USA really use police cars for their own gain? Because, I'm pretty certain if they pulled that sort of shit over here that would be up in front of a committee answering why they were an hour out of town and picking up a family member in Government property.
Bella then goes on to internally bitch that the cruiser was another reason she wanted her own car since nothing slows down traffic like a copper... Really? He also gets to keep the car??
We get our first 'Bella is a klutz!' moment since she stumbles out of the plane and Charlie as to catch her awkwardly before commenting that she hasn't changed much.
We also learn that Bella isn't allowed to call Charlie anything by name, to his face at least, we already know that she appears to show him as much respect as a piece of forgotten gum on her shoe.
Then we get the fascinating information regrading her luggage since most of her clothes were to permeable for Washington so her mum and her pooled resources to buy her a scanty winter wardrobe, which means she only has a couple of bags which easily fits into the back of Charlie's cruiser.
We then get a conversation about Charlie finding her a car, which is apparently owned by Billy Black, his friend from La Push a Indian Reservation near Forks. He asks Bella if she remembers him, when she replies no, he goes on to explain that Bella would come fishing with them when she was younger which leads to this wonderful gem.
That would explain why I didn't remember him. I do a good job of blocking painful, unnecessary things from my memory.
Nope, not falling for it.
You know, I read things like that and wonder if authors actually do it on purpose in an attempt to get people to flog their books, because seriously... WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT THIS IS A GOOD IDEA?!
Being forced to go fishing with your dad and his mate might be boring and a tad awkward but I seriously doubt it would be so traumatic that one would be forced to repress the damned memory.
It turns out that Billy in now in a wheelchair and can't drive so offered it to Charlie cheap, instead of asking what happened and generally acting like a human being. Bella instead jumps straight to the chase and asks how old the car is, question Charlie was clearly hoping she wouldn't asks since he deflects answering by going on about how a lot of work has been done on the engine.
Either way it turns out that Billy brought the truck second hand in '84 but it's really from the 50's or 60's... Doesn't it seem really irresponsible to buy your kid something that old? Regardless of how much work your mates kid has done to the engine??
[...] No need to add that being happy in Forks is an impossibility. He didn't need to suffer along with me. And I never looked a free truck in the month -- or engine.
Brilliant, looks like the humor in this book isn't any better then the humor in the Anita Blake series...
Bella see's the truck parked on the front lawn of her dads house and instantly falls in love with it, this seems to be a theme in this book. Love at first sight and all that, the fact that it's a heap of shit that probably doesn't run and she might struggle to drive something that big without power steering never appears to be a problem... Ever.
[...] It was one of those solid iron affairs that never gets damaged -- the kind you see at an accident, paint unscratched, surrounded by pieces of the foreign car it had destroyed.
I'm getting the feeling that every time Bella makes to drive anywhere there is an emergency alert sent to anyone driving a modern car, warning them that someone in a rust covered truck might just speed through their car for shits and gigs...
Bella takes her stuff up to her room and is horrified to discover that she'll have to share the bathroom with Charlie, because you know... That's so rare in houses these days...
Hell, I had to share one bathroom with three other teenagers, all of them female and all of them extremely catty so Bella has it pretty damn easy.
Forks high school only has 358 students, which compared to her last school where there was 700 or so in her year alone is damn small. My high school only had something like 150 students so her whinging about the small scale of the school has no effect on me.
[...] Physically, I'd never fit in anywhere. I should be tan, sporty, blond [...]
[..] I was Ivory-skinned, without even the excuse of of blue eyes or red hair, despite the constant sunshine. I had always been slender, but soft somehow, obviously not an athlete; I didn't have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself -- and harming both myself and anyone else who stood too close.
.
Mary Sue alert!
The fact that everyone in Phoenix is apparently a shallow loser who only hangs out with you because you don't look like they should expect? Really? Not one person in a 3,000 + student body didn't judge her on looks? Yeah, colour me skeptical.
Bella can't sleep because of the rain apparently, as I've stated before I live in Australia, we're pretty bloody drought-ridden and rarely get much rain because of this fact, but I always sleep better when it does rain and unless it's some serious downpour everyone else I've spoken too says the same so again, colour me skeptical.
We now get the generic 'this is the basic lay out of the house' tripe here that I'm not going to go into detail about, because honestly... Who cares?
We get another jab at Charlie because he apparently never moved on from Renee, and that makes him... Strange? Bad? I'm not sure what the underlying message here is, but I'm fairly certain it's bad.
She gets in the truck, bitches that the engine is too loud, but pleasantly surprised that the radio works before heading off to school which she finds easily enough.
[...] The immediate awareness in her eyes. I was expected, a topic of gossip no doubt. Daughter of the chief's flighty ex-wife , come home at last.
Or, you know she is the school's administrator. I'm pretty sure stating your name in such a small school would invoke recognition as you being the new kid. Stop being so paranoid and making everything about you!
After getting her class list and getting back in her car, she rambles on about how glad she is that kids here have cars that are as old if not older then hers because at her last school she was in the lower income bracket and everyone had convertibles or some sort of stereotype.
She then gets to class, insert some boring stuff here, and it turns out that the class is reading Bronte, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I'd already read everything.
Of course she has... She then debates on if she could convince her mum to send her, her old essays covering these books because you know... Morals!
After class we meet Eric, the nerdy stereotype for this book he's overly helpful and more then happy to show Bella around (she hates being called Isabella) we also learn that Bella sucks at sarcasm and I'm forced to go and get a drink because, Gods help me and hack writers sense of humor,
I couldn't remember her name so I smiled an nodded as she prattled about teachers and classes. I didn't try to keep up. [...] who she introduced to me. I forgot all of their names as soon as she spoke them. [...]
Remember kids, we have to relate and like this protagonist. I've heard that they changed her character slightly for the movie, can't imagine why....
While she is ignoring all the people who could make her life easier at school she spots the other main characters of this book, you can tell they are the good guys because they are sitting alone, not talking to each other or eating even though they all have food, they also aren't paying any attention to Bella so she shamelessly stares at them... Not stalkerish at all...
We then get a long as description about what each of them sorta looks like, and how while they are all different they are all the same, its about as interesting as I'm making it sound here.
Bella asks her neighbor at the lunch table who they are, while looking back up and catching the eye of the youngest male sitting at the table she was recently gawking at.
In that brief flash of a glance, his face held nothing of interest -- it was as if she had called his name and he looked up in involuntary response already deciding not to answer.
What I dreamboat, gosh no wonder so many people swoon over Edward and his more modern version Christian Grey, I would totally do someone who is so dickish!
So we get the usual back story, all of these kids live with Dr. Cullen because he adopted them and they don't interact with the other students at all because they consider themselves so much better then everyone else. Which begs the question why they keep enrolling in school if they're not going to take all of the advantages that'll bring of being able to murder people without blame instantly falling onto them because they stand out so much.
After lunch they go to biology and oh golly gosh who would have guess it! Edward is there! And he has no lab partner so Bella must pair up with him for this class! Who would have thunk it??
Now we get the infamous scene of Bella sniffing herself because Edward makes a face like he's smelt something bad and she gets all paranoid about it, before managing to hide herself behind a curtain of hair which saves her from looking at him or something along those lines.
I peeked at him one more time, and regretted it. He was glaring down at me again, his black eyes full of revulsion.
Be still my frantically beating heart! Oh if only I could meet a man who doesn't even know my name but would happily glare at me in revulsion as I sit next to him in a mixture of confusion and fear!!
Finally the bell rings and class is over, Edward makes good of his escape instantly fleeing the room leaving Bella even more confused then before.
And now we meet Mike, he'll be filling in the stereotypical good guy who is instantly friend-zoned for this book. He has the next class with Bella which is Gym and happily chats all the way there, before asking her why Edward was glaring at her like someone planning her murder before stating that he would have chatted to her if she had been placed at his bench.
[...] At home, only two years of P.E. was required. Here, P.E. was mandatory all four years. Forks was literally my personal hell on earth.
Naw, isn't life hard for the Bella. How my heart bleeds for her!
Bella now goes to hand some paperwork back to the school's office, almost walking straight back out again when she notices Edward speaking to the clerk about swapping biology for another class, another girl walks in to place a piece of paper into a basket on the bench and instantly leaves again, causing Edward's back to stiffen before glaring at Bella, which... Makes Bella start rambling about how hot he looks yet feeling so scared that the hairs on her arms stiffen.
Bella hands in her papers before getting into her truck and staring blanking out of the windscreen before driving home while fighting back tears.
Dear god women, why are you getting so upset about a stranger acting strangely towards you? Especially this bloody upset! Get your shit together women, yeesh.
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