The cave was dark. I stood in absolute blackness, gripping my flashlight. I touched my hand to my forehead and couldn't see a damn thing but the funny white images your eyes make when there is no light.
Why is she fondling a light without turning it on? Well it turns out that the wererats are shy about changing in front of them so demanded they turn their lights off, which I guess is fair enough.
No, what bothers me the most about this is turn your lights off and just sit there. Do you see white lines in front of your vision? No? Fucking funny that. I honestly have no idea what she's talking about here.
Anita stands there in the darkness listening to the rats change, thinking that it sounds like it must hurt. Well since these guys would currently be breaking bones, moving organs around and generally tearing their bodies apart as they change form. Yeah, no I don't believe that would be a very pleasant experience.
I had never wanted to see so badly in my life. It could't be so horrible could it? But a promise is a promise. I sounded like Horton the Elephant. "A person is a person no matter how small."
STOP WITH THE FUCKING MISPLACED DR. SUESS REFERENCES! WE GET FUCKING IT! YOU LIKE HIM!
Look I like this sort of thing in books as much as the next person, but this is the second time she's inserted a quote THAT MAKES NO FUCKING SENSE WITH THE CURRENT CONTEXT!
Whatever, Rafael our resident ratking informs them that they can now turn their lights on.
I did, instantly. My eyes seemed to leach on the light, eager to see.
This... This is clearly going to be a bad chapter for everyone involved with this and for that I apologize in advance.
There are ten rats in the cave with them, the male rats are wearing jean cutoffs and loose t-shirts while the females were maternity style dresses because... All females wear dresses, but never Anita because she's not really a icky girl. She's far too empowered to wear dresses!
Until she starts sleeping with JC and he forces her to wear dresses (spoilers!)
Edward moves to stand near Anita, he's watching the rats carefully and Anita is worried that bringing him in on this means that she just endangered this entire clan because he has a bad tendency of killing supernaturals for money,
Raf asks if they are ready to go, Anita gives the all clear and they head off. She makes a comment about how she thought all caves were damp........
I... What? I've been in a couple of caves in my lifetime and the majority of them have been dry, but I live in a drought-ridden country, is this a rarity in America?
Either way on the rats explains that this is a dead cave,
"Live cave has water and growing formations. A dry cave where none of the formations are growing is called dead cave."
Raf tells the Louie (the rat who coughed up this information) to shut the hell up as they're not here to give a guided tour. Lillian who's currently a gray rat is their doctor, she's got a backpack of medical supplies, which Anita takes to mean that they're expecting to get hurt but ultimately survive this entire deal, which she's personally skeptical about at this point.
If you don't believe you're going to survive this encounter, THEN WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING IN?! You don't necessarily have a time restraint at this point (or at least one that makes it necessary to head off on a suicide mission) you should have scouted the layout of the place, spoken to Dead Dave about gaining information, AT LEAST GIVEN US THE IMPRESSION THAT YOU WANT TO SURVIVE THIS BOOK!
Considering how much I've gone on in this book how much I wish Anita would just die, you're probably wondering why I'm angry at this. Well besides the obvious fact that Anita will survive this book, This sort of lazy writing just annoys the hell out of me, you instead of chewing the scenery with all those useless scenes earlier in the book you could have made this a lot more interesting and have a more natural way of filling us in on the dynamics of your world. Hell, even a sentence brushing over the fact that she tried to dig up info and didn't find anything would be better then.
'OH! I know, lets get the rats to lead us into the vamp hideout and stumble around blindly until we get to kill things!'
They get to caving, Anita bitching about the fact that the caves narrows so much in some parts the she has to crawl and is glad for the hardhat the rats had even her, she also points out the freaking obvious by mulling over the fact that rats appear to be designed for getting through small small cramped spaces.
She tries to fool us into thinking that she has some sort of empathy by thinking that Edward must be having a worst time of caving then she is since he's taller then her.
They finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and Raf calls the party to a stop, telling them that the dungeon is just ahead (again... WHY THE FUCK HASN'T THIS HOLE BEEN FIXED?) and that once Nicky is dead the rats will come and give them a hand, until then they're on their own.
Anita thanks Raf for bring them here, he replies that he's pretty much brought them to Hells gate and shouldn't be thanked for that. I think it's more of a thing where leading her through the caves is his preemptive favor for her killing Nicky.
We then get weapon porn, Edward has a Uzi, Anita has two guns and her knives. One of the guns she has was a gift from Edward who informed her that "It kicks like a sonofabitch, but press it under someones chin, and it will blow their fucking head off."
Why is 'sonofabitch' one word? Out of all the stupid that's going on, this thing is pissing me off the most.
Apparently it's daylight outside so all the vamps should be snuggled up in their coffins but the humans should still be up and around (really? I'd have thought that humans would have adjusted their sleeping patterns to suit the vamps unless they're playing security)
They climb out of the cave into the same dungeon that Phil was killed in, someone has already scrubbed it clean though. Anita fights the urge to touch the wall where Phil had been restrained. Edward reaches the door and calls her over, wondering what has her so distracted. When she points out that Phil was killed in this room he tells her to pull it together as he doesn't want this entire thing to go to shit because she's busy daydreaming. Anita starts to get angry but swallows it because he's right, he opens the door and they head down the empty corridor.
I followed him into the dragon's lair. I didn't feel much like a knight. I was fresh out of shiny steeds, or was that shiny armor?
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