When we last visited the amazingly awesome world of Bella
and Edward, our friendly local vampire was trying to convince Bella to skip
class, because you know.. Fuck the rules.
Bella runs to her class, not wanting to miss anything
because apparently not wanting to skip class makes you a pussy or something.
The teacher has yet to enter the classroom, as she makes
her way to her seat, she notices that
Angela and Mike are both staring at her. I never knew sitting with the class
recluse made you so popular...
Anyways, Mike looks resentful while Angela looks awed
because who doesn't want to be friends with the psycho possibly homicidal
vampire.
The teacher finally decides he should start class,
dropping a box on Mike’s desk informing him that he should hand the contents
out. It turns out that today they are going to be finding out what blood type
they are. He uses Mike as a demonstration (I’m not sure, but I get the feeling
that stabbing a student would be illegal. Regardless of the fact that it’s only
in the finger and for class it still reeks of a lawsuit waiting to happen)
Either way, Bella watches all this in horror. Swallowing bile
while resisting the urge to projectile vomit over the entire class over a drop
of blood she should in reality be struggling to see from where she’s sitting.
She gets all dramatic, going on about how she’s
struggling to hear her classmates complaining and giggling through the ringing
in her ears, she rests her cheek against the cool surface of the desk eyes
tightly shut so she won’t have to face the horror of small drops of blood.
Which brings up an interesting question... She faints at
the sight of blood right? So... How does she handle having her period??? Or
does she just stay unconscious for a week every month?
Blah, the teacher reaches her, asks if she’s alright.
Bella states that she already knows her blood type, the teacher asks if she can
walk before asking someone to help her to the nurse.
Bella gets bitchy when Mike is the one to volunteer, I
honestly don’t know what she has against the bloke at this point.
As soon as they've left sight of the building they came
out of, Bella asks for a rest. Mike helps her sit down as she demands that he
keeps his hand in his pocket even though I’m about 99.99999999999% sure his
finger would have stopped bleeding by now.
Mike nervously comments that she’s pretty green as she
slumps over thinking that the wet cement helps a little with her nausea.
Suddenly! A wild vampire appears!
Edward stalks over demanding to know what’s wrong with
Bella as she closes her eyes and wishes the ground would swallow her whole.
Mike sounds stressed as he points out that he doesn't
know, he thinks she might've fainted but doesn't know why since she never even
got to stab herself.
Edward kneels down next to Bella, asking if she can hear him. She replies with a very mature, no, go away.
Mike get defensive for some reason, stating that it's his mission in life to get her to the nurse, but since she refuses to move he isn't sure what to do with her.
Edward gets all condescending stating that he'll take Bella to the nurse so Mike can run off back to class. Mike says no, insert dick measuring contest here. Edward simply picks Bella up ignoring her demands to be put back down like any charming fella would, Mike puts up a weak protest but is promptly ignored as Edward teases Bella about how crappy she currently looks.
Yeah... I can see now why everyone swoons over this guy!
Bella once again asks to be put down, and once again Edward ignores her. Changing the subject to the fact that she faints at the sight of blood which naturally appears to amuse him to no end.
Edward takes her into the nurses office, dumps her on the bed and proclaims to tell the nurse how to do her job, by explaining that Bella is merely feeling sick from them doing blood testing in Biology. The nurse nods, states that there is always one while Edward snickers in the background.
The nurse tells Edward that he can go back to class, but he states that he is meant to stay with her and the nurse being horrible at her job merely purses her lips and wonders off to get ice for Bella's forehead.
Once the nurse has left the room, Bella turns to Edward and tells him he's right. He gives a 'witty' response that he's generally right, but wonders on what topic exactly he's right about this time.
Bella tells him that he was right, ditching class is healthy.
Stephenie Meyers... The morals you are passing on to young people with this book is seriously just mindboggling! No wonder this book was one of the best selling stories ev0r!1!!!!111
Edward takes a weird turn as he states that when he saw Mike dragging her through the school he thought she was dead and Mike was dragging her corpse off to bury in the woods and that he'd have to avenge her death...
Bella, darling? Those loud noises you should be hearing right now are alarm bells because clearly something isn't right here!!!
Edward goes on to gleefully state that Mike loathes him since he stole his white knight moment, Bella then demands to know how he saw the whole thing happen since he was suppose to be ditching.
It turns out that Edward was in his car listening to music, which tells me pretty much everything I need to know about this school and how they don't seem to understand how the teenage mind works.
Take my high school for example (granted, it was a tiny freaking school) but teachers would do random sweeps of the carpark and known hideout areas during class hours so they could catch anyone stupid enough to ditch class and hang out in the grounds.
Either way, Bella is amazed at the normality of his reasoning.... Not sure why, she doesn't know he's anything but a budding psychopath, maybe she expected him to be torturing animals to death in the woods or something.
The nurse wonders back in, commenting on how much better Bella looks, Bella sits up stating that she feels so much better now while rambling on that the walls are no longer moving or some such.
The nurse reaches out to make Bella lie back down but the receptionist sticks her head into the doorway stating that there's another person who apparently can't handle the sight of blood, Bella uses the distraction to hop to her feet (calling the other student an invalid in the process) and Edward commands her to leave the room, which she does.
Edward is stunned that she actually listened to him, Bella responds that she could smell the blood. Edward replies that you can't smell blood....
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..
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.
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I feel like I've already had this rant before, possibly in the Anita Blake side of this blog, so I'll refrain from repeating myself besides adding.
YES YOU FUCKING CAN SMELL BLOOD! WHY DO AUTHORS KEEP TRYING TO TELL US WE CAN'T?!
Ugh... I'll leave this here for now since now all I want to do is rant.
So watch this space for more updates!
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